my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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