I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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