Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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