smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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