You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
