According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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