the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
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Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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