Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
