Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
