so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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