DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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