I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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