i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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