my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
