Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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