Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We are two peas in an std pod
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
