He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How external is "for external use only"?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
