he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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