I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
