I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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