We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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