Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
