Cold hands, warm shart.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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