The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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