I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
