Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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