Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
