Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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