you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
