she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I currently don't understand fingers.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
