Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
