she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
