The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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