Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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