Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
