Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
