but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
