Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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