Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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