I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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