she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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