**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
