**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
