I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
