Christians are straight up FREAKS
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
