I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
