You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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