Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
