neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
