Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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