No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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