My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize