Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
