My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
