Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I deserve this hangover.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
