Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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