I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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