Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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