where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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