Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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