I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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