the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
