Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
