When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
