if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Non-Jews are for practice
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
