I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
