Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
