seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
